Health & Wellness

Signs That Someone You Care About May Be Struggling Emotionally

Updated Jun 5, 2023·5 min read
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Two people sitting on a bench, one offering quiet emotional support to the other

In This Article

Key Takeaways

Emotional struggles often show up as behavioral changes rather than explicit statements of distress.
Withdrawal from social activities is one of the most common early warning signs.
You don't need to have all the answers — showing up and listening matters most.
Multiple signs appearing together carry more weight than any single change in behavior.
Encouraging professional support is always appropriate when you're genuinely concerned.
Approaching the conversation with curiosity and compassion — not judgment — sets the right tone.
10–20 min

Summary

18 items · 10–20 minutes

Why Recognizing the Signs Matters

Most people who are struggling emotionally don't announce it. They may minimize what they're going through, worry about being a burden, or simply lack the language to describe what's happening inside. That's why the people around them — friends, family members, colleagues — are often the first line of awareness.

This checklist is designed to help you notice meaningful changes in someone you care about. It's not a diagnostic tool, and noticing several of these signs doesn't mean you can determine what someone is experiencing or why. What it can do is give you a framework for paying closer attention and opening a conversation.

For context on where everyday emotional difficulty ends and deeper concern begins, see The Difference Between a Bad Day and a Mental Health Concern.

Changes in Social Behavior

Notice if they have pulled back from social plans, gatherings, or group chats they once engaged in regularly. Must
Check whether they're responding to messages or calls less frequently than usual, or giving unusually brief replies. Must
Observe if they've stopped mentioning or participating in hobbies or interests they previously seemed to enjoy. Should
Note if they seem physically present in group settings but emotionally distant or disengaged. Should

Shifts in Mood or Emotional Expression

Pay attention to a persistent low mood, irritability, or emotional flatness that seems out of character. Must
Notice if they seem to cry more easily or, conversely, seem unusually numb or emotionally shut down. Must
Watch for increased expressions of hopelessness, worthlessness, or the sense that nothing will improve. Must
Observe if their sense of humor or lightness has faded in a way that feels sustained rather than situational. Should

Physical and Behavioral Cues

Notice significant changes in their sleep — sleeping far more or far less than what seems normal for them. Must
Pay attention to visible changes in appetite or weight that don't seem tied to an intentional change. Should
Observe if they appear notably more tired, slow-moving, or physically depleted than usual over a sustained period. Should
Notice if they've increased their use of alcohol or mentioned relying on substances to cope or sleep. Must

Cognitive and Verbal Signs

Listen for comments suggesting they feel like a burden to others or that others would be better off without them. Must
Note if they seem unusually forgetful, distracted, or unable to concentrate in conversations. Should
Pay attention to language that suggests a sense of being trapped, stuck, or without options. Must
Notice if they give away meaningful possessions or mention "wrapping things up" in ways that feel off. Must

Context Clues Worth Considering

Consider whether they've experienced a recent major life event — job loss, relationship breakdown, bereavement, or health news. Should
Reflect on whether changes seemed to emerge gradually over weeks or months rather than after a single stressful event. Nice to have

How to Approach the Conversation

Knowing what to look for is only part of the picture. How you show up matters just as much as whether you show up at all. Many people worry they'll say the wrong thing, so they say nothing — but silence can feel like indifference to someone who's already isolated.

Start with genuine curiosity rather than a checklist of concerns. A simple "I've noticed you seem different lately — how are you really doing?" opens more doors than a list of observations that can feel accusatory. Give them space to respond or not. You don't need a neat resolution from one conversation.

When to Treat It as Urgent

If someone expresses thoughts of ending their life or harming themselves — even indirectly — treat it as a situation requiring immediate attention. Do not leave them alone if you believe there is imminent risk. Encourage them to call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or go to the nearest emergency department. You do not need to manage this situation alone.

If someone discloses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, take it seriously and encourage them to reach out to a crisis line or mental health professional immediately. You don't have to handle this alone either — supporting someone through serious distress can be emotionally taxing, and seeking guidance yourself is appropriate.

Keep in mind that some struggles are layered. Financial stress, for example, can quietly erode emotional wellbeing in ways that are hard to name. If you suspect that pressure may be a factor for someone you care about, broader context can help you understand what they may be navigating.

Similarly, some forms of emotional pain are tied to loss — not always the loss of a person, but of relationships, identities, or life stages. Understanding how grief works can help you meet someone where they are. Grief, loss, and the many forms they take explores this more fully.

Required

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

A free, confidential resource available by call or text for anyone in emotional crisis or supporting someone who is.

Required

Crisis Text Line

Text-based crisis support that connects people with trained crisis counselors for immediate, confidential help.

Required

Licensed Mental Health Professional

A therapist, psychologist, or counselor can provide professional assessment and support for sustained emotional difficulties.

This article is for general informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are concerned about someone's wellbeing or your own, please consult a qualified mental health professional.

Health & Wellness Editorial Team is the collective byline for our editorial team and contributor network. Articles published under this byline or an editorial pen name are researched, written, and reviewed according to our editorial standards for clarity, consistency, and independence before publication.

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